self-confidence

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The Fine Line Between Self-Confidence & Cockiness


By DEREK WHITNEY
Article from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/


We all know people who sing their own praises at every work or social opportunity. You may sometimes wonder if they know something about self-confidence that you don’t. Perhaps their annoying habit is a sign that they’ve discovered some secret to waking up every day feeling ready to conquer the world. Truly, the line between self-confidence and arrogance can seem finer than it really is.


Cocky or Confident?

Cocky people do have confidence, but it comes from a different place than true self-assurance. Arrogance is one result of building self-esteem from outward sources such as financial privilege or constant praise. However, yank the external support system away, and the person’s sense of self-worth goes with it.

You build true self-confidence from within and project it to the world. Confident people have a realistic picture of their own traits and abilities and trust themselves enough to respond to life authentically. They learn from failure rather than letting it define them, and they forge ahead a bit wiser.

A hallmark of the genuinely self-assured person is the ability to admit to a mistake without excessive apologizing or rationalization. A cocky colleague, on the other hand, is more likely to pass the buck.

Four Ways to Tell the Difference
1. Style vs. Bling Addiction. 

True style is personal and has little to do with trends. Confident people enjoy what they have without defining themselves by their possessions. These are the folks who survive disasters with a strong and giving spirit. Their sense of self remains constant even if they must physically rebuild.

Arrogant people are more often emotionally devastated by material losses and may struggle harder to define their core values in the face of adversity. Not everyone who flaunts “stuff” is cocky, but ostentation suggests a distorted self-image.

2. Active Listening vs. the Monologue.

That person who insists on holding court in any gathering is probably a frightened jester rather than a monarch.

Arrogant people need to validate their belief of being better than others and are constantly looking for opportunities to sell themselves.

If you like yourself as you are, you free up energy to be genuinely interested in other people. You engage in active listening and ask sincere questions. In turn, people will respond positively to your attentiveness.

3. Ambition vs. Ruthlessness. 

Ambition is not a crime. Confident people relish achievement and contributing their talents to the world. They don’t feel threatened by others’ successes and instead try to learn from them.

Cocky people need to believe that they are on top even if reality says otherwise. This can lead to unnecessarily manipulative or callous behavior as they focus on defending a power base at all costs.

4. The Human vs. the Greek God. 

As a self-confident person, you accept that you are just a human being. You are intrinsically no better or worse than anyone else. In addition to your successes, you have flaws, failures and really bad hair days or even years. You treat yourself with compassion while taking responsibility for your choices, and you learn from misfortune and mistakes.

Arrogant people can’t risk the fragile persona crumbling in the face of defeat and run from criticism. They tend to go to extremes of either deflecting blame onto others or condemning themselves for being only human.If you wonder about your own cocky moments, you are probably in the ballpark of self-confidence.

Truly secure people evaluate their own behavior and face their doubts. By letting go of fear, you set yourself up for success.


DEREK WHITNEY 
Article from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/

MARIA LUISA SALCINES: Develop self-confidence in your child


Posted: Tuesday, April 23, 2013 5:02 pm
Maria Luisa Salcines | MLSalcines@aol.com
Article from http://www.themonitor.com/opinion/columnists/

Raising a self-confident child can be tricky because sometimes in the name of making our child feel loved we overprotect, and make life too easy for our children.

Self-worth is what allows a person to be happy and pursue success. It lays the foundation for your future by giving you the confidence to succeed in school, persevere when times are difficult, and form healthy relationships.

Self-confidence is gained through years of unconditional love. Think of your children as a bucket of water you are filling that needs constant refilling because the water overflows.

Children are developing and changing on a daily basis, they can never hear the words “I love you” often enough. Your unconditional love has to always be a constant in their life.

Loving your child and telling him he is loved only when he behaves does not help a child gain self-confidence.

Children need to know that even when they make mistakes and choices you disagree with, they are still loved.

Parents need to encourage their child to try new things; they need to give their child freedom within healthy boundaries so that he can have the courage to try new things.

Trying new things and failing is what teaches a child to persevere. As much as it hurts 

a parent to see their child sad, this learning process is an important part of life.

Parents who pamper and protect their children do more harm than good.

Helping your child gain a sense of self-worth is a slow process that continues throughout your child’s life.

Parents can help their children by teaching them responsibility. Give your children chores, and hold them accountable for their grades and behavior.

Show your children that you are proud of them. Make the effort to attend all of their school functions, especially when they get older. Teens often pretend they don’t care, but you’d be surprised how good it makes them feel when you show interest in the things they are involved with.

Listen to your children and try to learn how to communicate and fit in their world. Parents build a wall between their children when they are constantly talking about the past or about how they used to do things.

Be open to learning new things and they will be more open to letting you into their lives.

Regardless of how big or small, always celebrate your children’s accomplishments.

Allow your children to express their opinions in a respectful way. Sometimes we tell them we want them to talk to us, but when they do we don’t listen and are quick to give our opinion.

Advice is great, but sometimes listening is more important. When you allow your children to express their feelings you are letting them know that their thoughts matter.

Raising children is a challenge and parents you will make mistakes. When you do, don’t hesitate to apologize.

A parent-child relationship built on love, acceptance, and trust can always be mended.

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Maria Luisa Salcines is a freelance writer, and certified parent educator with The International Network for Children and Families in Redirecting Children’s Behavior and Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom. Follow her on Twitter @PowerOfFamily or contact her at her website at www.redirectingchildrenrgv.org.
Article from http://www.themonitor.com/opinion/columnists/

Economic Diversification an Important Buffer for Africa in Uncertain Global Environment

Posted May 13 , 2013
Article from http://www.exchangemagazine.com/morningpost/


Africa needs to forge a new model of growth based on inclusivity

Cape Town, South Africa – Economic diversification is essential for African economies to build buffers against vulnerability in a volatile world, panellists told a World Economic Forum on Africa session on Africa’s economic outlook.

Creating a savings culture and increased tax base to help fund intra-African trade and investment and reduce African countries’ dependence on customs revenues are other factors that could provide buffers against volatility and improve trade flows by lessening the incentive for countries to impose non-tariff barriers, participants said.

Sectors mentioned as being important for the future include agriculture, financial services, natural resource extraction, investment in IT infrastructure, housing, power supply and regional trading of electricity. Participants added tourism and healthcare as important sectors for Africa’s development and job creation.

Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Coordinating Minister for the Economy and Minister of Finance of Nigeria, said Africa’s growth rates are not a flash-in-the-pan as shown by the fact that, even in the uncertain economic climate globally, Africa continues to grow. But it is important to find ways to step up the growth and make it inclusive.

Her view was echoed by Pravin Gordhan, Minister of Finance of South Africa, who said it is not only the measurement of gross domestic product that is important, but the quality of that GDP. He said Africa needs to produce a new model of growth based on inclusivity and create new economic institutions both within and between countries to support it. The flow of capital out of the continent has to be stemmed to increase the availability of investible capital within Africa.

He said that, although foreign direct investment in Africa is growing, much of it is still going into the resources sector. The challenge of the next five years is to lay the basis for greater diversification based on countries’ comparative advantage. “The time has certainly come for Africa to start talking about what it is going to do for itself.”

Africans should take advantage of the increased confidence and interest in the continent by negotiating better terms of trade. However, he cautioned that the new self-confidence now evident in Africa itself should not lead to hubris. “We will be living in a risky world for some years to come.”

Benno Ndulu, Governor of the Bank of Tanzania, said natural resource wealth is a key opportunity for the future and, although past experience of leveraging it for development has been negative, lessons have been learned and the future is more positive. He added that Africa has a comparative advantage in its combination of cheap labour and a large youth population, which can help Africa to attract investment from Asia.

Okonjo-Iweala said that, while Africa is seeing increased FDI, increasingly Africans themselves are investing in Africa. She said that, for example, South African companies are among the biggest investors in Nigeria while Nigerian companies are expanding rapidly across West and East Africa.

Linah K. Mohohlo, Governor and Board Chairman of the Bank of Botswana, said for Africa to progress, it is important that a greater commitment is made to productivity and competitiveness.

With the support of the Government of South Africa, the World Economic Forum on Africa is being held in Cape Town, South Africa, from 8 to 10 May. Over 1,000 participants from more than 80 countries are taking part. Under the theme Delivering on Africa’s Promise, the meeting’s agenda will integrate three pillars: Accelerating Economic Diversification; Boosting Strategic Infrastructure; and Unlocking Africa’s Talent.


Posted May 13 , 2013
Article from http://www.exchangemagazine.com/morningpost/