Chad Daw
Published July 28, 2010
Having low self confidence can put a damper on your life, from succeeding at work to acquiring and keeping friends and partners. This is not something that you have to live with, though. Inside everyone is an extravert waiting to come out, and by simply realizing that there is a problem, and taking steps to solve that problem, you can become as outgoing and successful as you want to be.
The first step is to realize that you have low self confidence. The majority of people refuse to admit that they have a problem, especially one such as this. Having low self confidence is not a reason for shame or embarrassment, but rather just another stepping stone in life that has to be overcome.
Communication skills need to be practiced in order for your self confidence to soar. When you see someone that you want to talk to, follow the three second rule. Within three seconds from seeing the person, or group of people, advance forward and initiate a conversation simply by saying "Hello, my name is _______." Do not ever hesitate, because when you do, your mind will start wandering and thinking about all the 'what ifs', which will make you feel more and more uncomfortable. The end result of this inner turmoil will be refraining from speaking, lowering your self confidence, and causing the cycle to continually get worse each time that you do it. While you are introducing yourself, SMILE. Keep eye contact with the person or group, and extend your hand in a warm, customary greeting. When shaking hands remember to use a firm grip to help convey confidence, but not so powerful as to cause any harm. After introducing yourself and shaking hands, keep the conversation going by asking open ended questions. For example, instead of asking "how are you today?" ask a question that cannot be answered with one word, such as "tell me about that amazing watch that you have on." This will lead to an actual conversation, instead of a one word response which will leave you stumbling for words. When the person has stopped speaking, respond back to them by highlighting a story or thought that you have that contains the same key words that the person had previously used. For example, if they were talking about their children or dog, then be sure to include those words when responding. This not only tells the person that you are talking to that you are paying attention, but it also builds a bond between the two of you on the fact of having mutual subjects to discuss.
The concept that you have about yourself is a mental projection that causes harm to your self confidence. First and foremost, forget the past. Nothing can be done to change mistakes or hurtful feelings, so let it go. Live in the present and look forward to the future. Never compare yourself with the people that surround you. You are unique in your own way, which makes you a true human being. When you do something correctly, pat yourself on the back. Give yourself credit for the things that you do, and after time your brain will automatically be thinking positively, rather than negatively. Remember, do not worry about what others think or do. Be your own individual.
In order for your self confidence to rise, you must do what you enjoy. Take time out of your day for yourself. If you enjoy walking by the river, then set some time aside during the day, or night, to do it. If you have a hobby that you really enjoy, such as fishing, then master it so that you can be proud of yourself. By becoming a master of something, your confidence grows not only in that specific area, but in all other aspects of your life because you begin to realize that you are good at something.
Another great way to increase your confidence levels is to contribute to society. Help others when they need help. If an elderly lady is having problems loading groceries into a car, take a few minutes to help out. Helping others can be the quickest way to boost your self confidence, and when you receive that smile and warm "thank you", your heart will soar.
Take control of your own life. Do as you please, within the laws of the country of course. But do not let others tell you what to do and how to do it. Stand up for yourself and your beliefs. Stop blaming the people around you for problems that occur within your life. Take charge of making your own decisions and facing your own consequences.
The last step in increasing your self confidence is courage. Have the courage to try new things. If you have always wanted to go skydiving, then do it. Be active, take care of your body, and follow your dreams. The courage to "go for it" will not only make your body and mind healthier and more active, but it will increase your feelings of self worth, which in turn raises you self confidence levels.
Remember, self confidence is easily built by first realizing that you have a problem, and secondly, by taking the steps necessary to change. Confidence, as with any other major changes, will not occur overnight. If you have some setbacks in your pursuit of increasing your self confidence, do not worry about it. Take a deep breath and push forward. In time, you will be as confident as you want to be.
From Lifestyle published on July 28, 2010
